at least he can smile or do somethin, but he doesn't appreciate ALL efforts I did. hey boy, you know? i've been trying so hard, really hard, to make you notice me here. to make you know that I exist. it takes a long time. i would just smile at you and then you would fall in with me and we could go on a date then we lived happily ever after; yeah i wish i could do it but i CAN'T. it's not that easy. i'm just tired. please just take a look at me now and realize it. i can't do this anymore. should i just walk away or should i just keep chasing pavements? if you could only know, this is the first time i really fall with someone. the last time was really bad. honestly, i never be with someone i really like. please, i just want to be with you. is it too much to ask for?
and then when you don't know who are your real friends. i love all of my friends, but i wish i could read their minds. i want to know how much they love me, how much they care with me, how much?... i want a real friend. and i hope friends i'm with now are my true friends.
when you failed at so many exams and homeworks and you just can't handle this anymore. teachers may think i'm stupid or i didn't try hard, but they're wrong. i tried so fucking really hard to do it. but please, just understand me, my time is not only for study. sometimes i need a break. a long break. an escape to somewhere, where i can be alone. at least, they always say i should study more and study with my smart friends. haha yeah smart friends they said. all they see is just those diligent and clever students. hey teachers, sometimes i failed bcs i helped my friends at exam. i can't stand alone seeing them like that.
when you see some skinny and beautiful girls and then you just stand like a shit and look at yourself in a mirror and you feel like a beast. i hate that feeling. boys love pretty girls. i'm not pretty. so boys don't love me, right? lol.